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I’ve never participated in the A to Z Challenge before.

It wasn’t my intention to join the challenge this year either. Just over a week ago, commenting on a friend’s blog about her entry, I said, “This isn’t my year.”

But when inspiration comes, you have to go with the flow.

I’ve written very little about losing Den and Mom. It was always too raw, too close, too real. The words were in my head and heart, but there was a blockage somewhere holding them all inside, suffocating me and exacerbating my grief. So I walked away.

A few weeks ago, my therapist suggested I try writing letters to myself on bad days when my emotions and feelings were out of control.

I did, and it helped. While there were tears, I noticed there was no longer a blockage and the words flowed from me.

This milestone inspired me to use the A to Z Challenge to chronicle my grief journey thus far.

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On May 30, 2019, I lost Dennis, my husband of over thirty-five years. Ten short weeks later on August 18, 2019, I lost my eighty-four-year-old mother. My grief journey has not been an easy one. While we know grief has five stages, there are many situations and feelings some bereaved never get to express, and I’m using my first AtoZ Challenge to say things I’ve never been able to give voice to. I hope you’ll follow my journey.

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