The loss of a loved one is naturally an emotional time, regardless of the relationship to the deceased.
Sadness from the shock of the loss, whether expected or not, follows through to the sharing of the news with family and friends, the planning and attending of the service, and well into the weeks and months (and years) ahead.
However, the grief journey is full of emotions that build upon or standalone from the sadness.
If the loss is of a spouse, the emotional roller coaster can be debilitating.
There’s anger and betrayal for being abandoned;
Shame and embarrassment for being alone;
Anguish, melancholy and fear of being alone forever;
Guilt and remorse for words unspoken;
Despair and inadequacy at being unworthy;
Forgotten and ignored when you believe your grief is pushed aside.
Some of these emotions are irrational, some are not, but they’re all valid and personal.
I’ve felt every emotion and thought on this list… some several times. And also heartbreak, heartsick, vulnerable, rejected, and helpless.
Because people don’t often talk about their emotional struggles outside of counseling or their inner circles, I didn’t know my feelings were not unusual until I joined a support group, and entered counseling.
Sharing your issues doesn’t necessarily ease your emotional pain, but it will let you know you’re not alone, weird, or losing your mind. ❤
On May 30, 2019, I lost Dennis, my husband of over thirty-five years. Ten short weeks later on August 18, 2019, I lost my eighty-four-year-old mother. My grief journey has not been an easy one. While we know grief has five stages, there are many situations and feelings some bereaved never get to express, and I’m using my first AtoZ Challenge to say things I’ve never been able to give voice to. I hope you’ll follow my journey.