#MondayBlog Humor in Suspense

Camp NaNo Update #8 banner

~~~

Do you know someone who’s serious all the time?

You know the type you tell a joke or a funny story then they feel compelled to break it down, analyze it and explain the rationale?

Yeah, those people.

Author E. B. White once said, “Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.”

My older brother was like that from the ages of twenty-five to forty.

Everything was a debate, discussion, or monologue. Even when I believed a conversation was over, he’d come back with more supporting facts or data. It was exhausting being around him.

We had seven other siblings, and when the rest of us were busy with the shenanigans and tomfoolery, big brother was always the ice-cold bucket of water tossed on the fun. We called him “The Pope” and no, we’re not Catholic.

I was a member of the wedding party when he got married at twenty-five (to a woman with a great sense of humor). Then he moved to the east coast, I moved to the west coast, and we met up at our parents’ once a year in the Midwest.

It worked.

I’m not sure what caused it, but something happened as he approached forty which made him dust off the dull and polish up his sense of humor. Suddenly, he found the humor in even the most morose situations.

We all exhaled and sighed in relief. Even our mom and he’s her favorite.

Life is serious.

But life is also funny, and it’s the humor that gets us through the serious, bad times.

Humor diffuses situations and lightens moments, and in those moments we often find clarity.

Humor is different things to different people. One person might dissolve into a fit of laughter over a joke or humorous situation while another might say, “I don’t get it.” The opportunity for humor was there even if it didn’t work for everyone.

It’s the same way with books.

No two people read the same book. We’re all different, so, we approach books with different mindsets. Two people can love the same book but for different reasons. A person can love a book so much they want the entire human race to read it while another can hate it with a passion intense as ten flaming suns. They want to burn the book, bury the ashes, salt the ground, and never speak of it again.

People are funny that way.

But most can agree a book must contain certain things to hold their interest, make them care, and inspire them to read on.

Developed characters with personalities – they don’t have to be liked (it helps) but readers should be on their side.

Conflict – and it should be believable

Pacing – the story cannot drag but readers don’t want to be rushed through scenes either.

A developed storyline or plot – what makes the reader care?

Satisfying conclusion or HEA – aliens are defeated, the world is saved, good guy gets the girl.

For me, there also must be humor.

I’m not referring to laugh-out-loud, thigh-slapping humor, although in some genres like Romantic Comedy, that’s what is expected.

Rhetoric or hyperbole can be used to create humor, or the irony of the current situation can be humorous but it needs to be in the story because it’s real.

The fun-loving, loyal sidekick takes a bullet for the story’s protagonist. During his death scene, he motions for his buddy to lean in close and whispers, “You know I was supposed to be off today, right?”

He still dies, it’s still sad, but it’s not depressing.

Who reads to get depressed?

In the midst of serial crimes, brutal beatings, and missing persons, I will find a way to insert humor.

Because art imitates life.

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

©2018 Felicia Denise, All Rights Reserved

“Where is your joy, Lennie?”


Free_full cover

In this short excerpt, Lenore Porter is reading a letter from her beloved Aunt Diane who recently passed away.


In every area of your life, you always stood out. You never tried to be the center of attention or sought the limelight, but it found you! It always found you! Your beautiful inner light shone like a beacon drawing people to you. You were never a vain or prideful child, but your dignity and grace were evident long before you reached your adult years. Why are you allowing this man to dim your light?

And you are allowing it, Lennie. I don’t for one minute believe that Ranard controls or dominates you in any way. He’s more like an unruly child acting out and you’re the tolerant, long-suffering parent.

That’s not what marriage is about, Lennie.

I’ve watched you both when you weren’t looking. I’ve never seen him hold your hand, or kiss or caress your cheek. I’ve never heard him compliment you, or say anything positive about you. But I held out hope. You have a reason for everything you do, so I knew there was a reason you married that man. But was it love, Lennie?

As your third anniversary fast approaches, you’ve already been married longer than Conrad and me. But we had so much joy and laughter, Lennie. We were disappointed I didn’t get pregnant before he shipped out, but it didn’t dampen our happiness one bit.

Where is your joy, Lennie? What makes you happy? It has to be more than your children because they will grow up and leave for their own life journeys. I speak from experience even though I wasn’t blessed to be a mother. I shared my sister’s heartache and anxiety when you left.

I also shared my concerns about you with her after our vacation. I was both relieved and saddened to find out she understood and felt the same way. Relieved because I now had someone to talk to about it – I couldn’t talk to you, Lennie. I knew you’d be angry and I didn’t want to lose you – and I was also sad because if Linda saw the same problems, they were real and not the overactive imagination of a nosy old woman.

I’ve always known you would be my heir. I almost told you on a couple of occasions, but I knew you’d insist that I sell everything and donate the money to some organization saving whales, or hamsters, or gophers… or whatever is all the rage at the moment. But no, I want you to have what was mine. It gives me peace to know I can do this one last thing for you and the children.

However, I am not done. I’m sure you’re fit to be tied by now. Clutching this letter with both hands, beads of perspiration forming on your forehead as you think about digging up my body to tell me about my bossy self.

My sweet Lennie Penny.

I hope you are sitting down because if you are angry with me now, by the time you finish this letter, you WILL dig up my body!

 

©2017 Felicia Denise, All Rights Reserved

Free_Kindle_CellSynopsis

Lenore Porter’s life had not gone as she planned.

The marriage she put her heart and soul into failed.

The man she sacrificed so much for abandoned her.

But Lennie refused to be broken. She pushed on, running a successful business and raising her three sons alone.

Through health scares and severe family dysfunction and trauma which forever changed their lives, the Porter family clung to each other to keep from sinking into the darkness.

With her marriage over long ago and her adult sons living their own lives, Lenore Porter decides to sell the cold fortress she worked so hard to make a warm, loving home.

A short, final inspection of her former home turns into a confrontation with ghosts from the past, and decisions and events Lennie felt she’d dealt with and moved on from.

Free, a Novella is a short, clean read recounting one woman’s determination to not be broken by life or lose her identity.

99¢!

Amazon US  http://bit.ly/LindenLane

Amazon UK  http://bit.ly/LindenLaneUK

Amazon CA  http://bit.ly/LindenLaneCA

Amazon AU  http://bit.ly/LindenLaneAU

Goodreads   http://bit.ly/FreeANovella

Kindle Unlimited button

KINDLE UNLIMITED ENDING SOON!

“A thirty-minute conversation changed their lives…”


Free, a Novella cover

Excerpt

Lennie leaned down, kissed his forehead and placed the napkin across her father’s lap. Just as she got it in place, Burt looked up at her.

Lenore was gutted.

More pieces of her already broken heart fell away.

His ashen skin, mottling and in different shades of brown and gray unsettled her. His slack jaw and visible body tremors made Lennie shudder. His eyes were her undoing. The mischievous gleam responsible for so much laughter, which had helped to comfort, console, and encourage her… was gone.

Father and daughter were still eye-to-eye, the reality of the situation holding Lennie in place when she felt his frail hand cover hers.

“Thank… you, baby girl.”

Lennie smiled and kissed his cheek, comforted with the knowledge she made her father happy. “You’re welcome, Daddy… always.”

Before Lennie could retrieve his dinner plate, Linda Kelimore was already cutting the meat into tiny portions.

“I’ll help your father with this, Lenore. Take the other plate for yourself.”

“But that’s yours, mom.”

“It will be cold before I get to it. Go on, eat. I know you’ve been on your feet since the lunch rush.”

Just like that, Lennie was twelve years old again, doing as she was told.

Picking at her food, she tried not to stare at her parents. But Lennie couldn’t help but be mesmerized. Watching as her mother fussed and cooed in loving tones at Burt to take his time and chew each tiny bite of food. Linda caressed his cheek between bites. Burt rested his hand on her knee, never taking his eyes off Linda’s face.

Feeling like an intruder on a private moment, Lennie did force herself to look away.

Anyone who knew Burt and Linda Kelimore knew they were totally devoted to each other.  More than half a century had passed since the day they each ran into a mechanic’s shop in need of quick repairs. Though they were both on their way to meet other people, a thirty-minute conversation changed their plans for the evening and the rest of their lives.


“Free, a Novella” by Felicia Denise

#99cents #KindleUnlimited

Amazon US – bit.ly/LindenLane
Amazon UK – bit.ly/LindenLaneUK
Amazon CA – bit.ly/LindenLaneCA
Amazon AU – bit.ly/LindenLaneAU

Goodreads – bit.ly/FreeANovella

 

 

©2017 Felicia Denise

A Turkey’s Tale #WritingChallenge


Wild Turkey

52-Week Writing Challenge: Week 47
Flash Fiction – Word Prompt: Thanksgiving

Myrtle Viellot focused on her knitting as her husband, Mendel, paced in front of her.

“You’re going to wear yourself out, Mendel. Sit down.”

Incredulous at her suggestion, he gestured wildly.

“Sit down? What is wrong with you, Myrtle? Aren’t you worried about Theodore? He’s been gone two days.”

She set her yarn work aside.

“I am worried, honey. But you know trips across the valley take longer during this time of year. He’s a smart boy. I’m sure he’ll remember everything you taught him.”

Walking over to the snack can, Mendel palmed a wing full of sunflower seeds.

“I just hope I told him enough. Did I tell him about hollowed out trees? I told him about hollowed out trees, right? And not to wander too close to the marsh at Duckford, right? I told him, right Myrtle?”

Clucking, Myrtle tried to hide her frustration.

“Honey, why don’t you go strut around the grove for a spell? You need to relax and stop getting yourself so worked up. Theo’s going to come through the brush any time now.”

“I know you’re right, dear. It’s just so many of us disappear every fall. Even though there are dozens of farms breeding distant family members for someone’s holiday meal, we still have to deal with Mr. Big Bad Walk-on-the-wild-side Nature Guy, intent on bagging his own turkey.”

Myrtle smoothed his ruffled feathers.

“You’re still doing it, dear.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll be in the grove if Theo comes in.”

Myrtle clicked her beak watching her husband fly away from their nest. She was worried about Theo too. But all the families in the Great Grove fretted over missing family members.

Myrtle puffed out her feathers, taking her own advice. Worrying was useless and made her molt. She had to believe her youngest jake would be home when the flocks came together under the forest canopy before the Big Cold moved in.

Mendel saw his friend, Radford, perched on a low-hanging branch. Settling down next to him, Mendel looked across the glen at what had Radford’s attention. He gobbled.

“They never learn, do they?”

“Nope. But we were the same way when we were young toms.”

“True, but we didn’t overdo it like that. All the strutting and displays this close to the Big Cold are wasted. Better to save it for mating in spring.”

“Oh, right. Because you showed so much restraint at that age.”

The toms gobbled together knowing they’d both shared… and had eaten their share of wild oats.

“I guess we’re lucky we can remember those days. It means we’re still here.”

Radford could tell his friend’s heart was heavy.

“Theo’s not back yet, huh?”

“No. And he’s never been gone this long before.”

“C’mon, Men. He’s a young jake approaching tomhood. You know the nature… thinking nothing can hurt you and you’ll live forever.”

“I know, Rad. Just… this time of year.”

Before Radford could respond, he and Mendel were knocked from their branch.

Gobbling and drumming to untangle their feathers, the toms were about to run for cover when they saw what hit them.

“Theodore!”

Mendel danced around, purring and kee-keeing, happy to see his youngest.

“I was worried sick, son. Come. We must share the news of your return with your mother.

“Dad, wait.”

Mendel clicked his beak.

“What’s wrong, son?”

“I-I overheard the Goulds and Merriams talking a few days ago.”

“What have I told you about listening to them? You know how their kind is…. always all gloom and doom.”

“They said the food isn’t coming back.”

“Of course, it isn’t, Theo. The Big Cold is coming. Food is always scarce this time of year.”

“No, dad. Their elder said even when it was Sun Time, it was hard to find food… because of the Big Burn.”

Radford gobbled. “That is true, Men. The hens have had to go further from home for food, and don’t even think about building a new nest. Padding our old ones is near impossible.”

“I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves, Rad.” Mendel turned to Theo. “But what has this to with you being gone so long?”

Theodore chirped, beating his wings against his chest.

“I found a place for us to go. A place with plenty of food.”

“What?” The toms said in unison.

“I was over near the marsh, and-”

“What did I tell you about the marsh-”

“Dad, just listen, please. I met this older tom named Vernon. He was having difficulty flying. The guy’s a bit on the plump side. But he admitted he’d been eating too well and too much since he moved in with his cousin, Prunella.”

“Son, what does-”

“Let me finish dad. When I asked him about it, he said there was so much food, their flock couldn’t eat it all.”

“And you believed him?”

“Nope. I made him take me there. It’s all true. Pastures full of vegetables and seeds, trees full of fruits and nuts, and there’s a marsh full of ducks.”

“How can this be?” Radford walked closer to Theo. “No one has ever allowed us or the ducks to roam and eat freely. We have to be on-guard even in the protected space.”

“That’s what I told Vernon. And guess what he said? No one is allowed to take turkeys or ducks from the land. It’s called private property.”

Mendel strutted around the bush.

“I don’t know, son. We’ve seen this before. Lure us is, then turkeys go missing. Remember cousin Boris and his flock?”

“I know, dad. But I was there. And Vernon said the people are something called vegetarians and vegans.”

Mendel and Radford looked at each other.

“What do those names mean?”

Theo fluttered. “They mean the people don’t eat meat.”

The toms blustered about yelping and cackling until a small group of their flock joined them. Theo told his story again, and more turkeys danced about.

“Before we get carried away, this place needs to be checked out,” Radford suggested.

“Agreed.” Mendel turned to his son. “Think you can find this place again?”

“Are you kidding? Yeah. It’s just beyond the apple place.”

Mendel and the group agreed to meet again after sunset.

“Come on, Theo. We still need to let your mother know you’re safe and tell her about this new place.”

The tom and his jake took off for their nesting roost. Just as they landed, Mendel glanced at Theo.

“Son, you didn’t tell me if this new place has a name.”

“Sure does, dad. It’s called Fowlerville.”

 

©Felicia Denise 2017

“A thirty-minute conversation changed their lives…”


Free, a Novella cover


“Free, a Novella” by Felicia Denise

#99cents #KindleUnlimited

Amazon US – bit.ly/LindenLane
Amazon UK – bit.ly/LindenLaneUK
Amazon CA – bit.ly/LindenLaneCA
Amazon AU – bit.ly/LindenLaneAU

Goodreads – bit.ly/FreeANovella

Snippet

Lennie leaned down, kissed his forehead and placed the napkin across her father’s lap. Just as she got it in place, Burt looked up at her.

Lenore was gutted.

More pieces of her already broken heart fell away.

His ashen skin, mottling and in different shades of brown and gray unsettled her. His slack jaw and visible body tremors made Lennie shudder. His eyes were her undoing. The mischievous gleam responsible for so much laughter, which had helped to comfort, console, and encourage her… was gone.

Father and daughter were still eye-to-eye, the reality of the situation holding Lennie in place when she felt his frail hand cover hers.

“Thank… you, baby girl.”

Lennie smiled and kissed his cheek, comforted with the knowledge she made her father happy. “You’re welcome, Daddy… always.”

Before Lennie could retrieve his dinner plate, Linda Kelimore was already cutting the meat into tiny portions.

“Lenore, take the other plate for yourself.”

“But that’s yours, mom.”

“It will be cold before I get to it. Go on, eat. I know you’ve been on your feet since the lunch rush.”

Just like that, Lennie was twelve years old again, doing as she was told.

Picking at her food, she tried not to stare at her parents. But Lennie couldn’t help but be mesmerized. Watching as her mother fussed and cooed in loving tones at Burt to take his time and chew each tiny bite of food. Linda caressed his cheek between bites. Burt rested his hand on her knee, never taking his eyes off Linda’s face.

Feeling like an intruder on a private moment, Lennie did force herself to look away.

Anyone who knew Burt and Linda Kelimore knew they were totally devoted to each other.  More than half a century had passed since the day they each ran into a mechanic’s shop in need of quick repairs. Though they were both on their way to meet other people, a thirty-minute conversation changed their plans for the evening and the rest of their lives.

 

©Felicia Denise 2017

Save