#MarchWritingChallenge – Day 16 – If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?

Wilted Rose

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This March Writing Challenge of thirty-one questions is hosted by Marquessa, with questions from Alexandra Franzen‘s100 questions to spark conversation and connect.

All are welcome to join in and a list of the questions can be found here.

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I got carried away with this one out the gate! 😀

I stopped myself after listing sixteen things I’d discuss with fifteen-year-old me.

After going over the list several times, I threw it out.

What did I want to tell a younger Felicia? Do I tell her of all the pitfalls coming her way? When to go left instead of right? When to stay or when to go?

None of the above.

I have no love for some of the things I’ve gone through over the years, but I’d like to believe I gained some insight and/or wisdom from them. Okay, okay, most of them, but even if I didn’t, I am the sum of my experiences, good and bad and I like me.

I also wouldn’t want to be like Dr McCoy, time-traveling and changing history in The City on the Edge of Forever. Then Kirk and Spock have to follow him to timeline order which includes allowing Edith Keeler, the woman Kirk has fallen in love with, to die in a traffic accident.

Don’t want to be directly responsible for someone’s death, right? 😉

So what would I tell fifteen-year-old Felicia?

1.Mom and Daddy are always right! Listen to them.

It’s annoying and I hate to admit, but my parents were right… about all of it.

2. You do not have to do it ALL! Asking for help is not a bad thing.

Up until ten years ago, I always took on too many tasks. Sometime to my own detriment.

3. Follow your FIRST mind. Trust yourself.

I’ve overthought myself into some horrible situations simply because I didn’t trust myself.

4. The answer is always no.

This goes hand-in-hand with #2.  When I learned to say no, the earth did not open up and swallow me whole. I still accomplished much, just without the stress. The more you say yes, the more people will ask of you.

5. Don’t worry, be happy.

I’m generally a happy person, but I’m sure I’ve spent years not only worrying about the plights of others, but the fact that I couldn’t fix it. I’m not the peoples Fairy Godmother. It’s okay to empathize… and keep it moving.

 

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Image by capsulabiblica from Pixabay

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#MarchWritingChallenge – Day 15 – If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?

doors

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This March Writing Challenge of thirty-one questions is hosted by Marquessa, with questions from Alexandra Franzen‘s100 questions to spark conversation and connect.

All are welcome to join in and a list of the questions can be found here.

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Sounds like a great idea and there are things I wish I’d done differently, but different obstacles would have made me a different person. Not sure if I’d like that.

The choices I made to kick down or go around obstacles brought me to where I am now.

I’m not rich or famous, but I’m content.

Alone, but content.

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Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

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#MarchWritingChallenge – Day 14 – How do you reign in self-critical voices?

I Love Me

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This March Writing Challenge of thirty-one questions is hosted by Marquessa, with questions from Alexandra Franzen‘s100 questions to spark conversation and connect.

All are welcome to join in and a list of the questions can be found here.

~~~

We’re all our own worst critic. Sometimes that isn’t a bad thing.

I see myself differently now than I did in my younger days.

Then I was critical of myself through the gaze of others.

Now I go my own way thanks to the wisdom of the years.

When my self-critical voices start, I know I’m veering off course.

I don’t hear the voices as often and have a lot more peace.

 

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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Identity and Social Media

Another thought-provoking post! 👍

Steve Rose PhD

Expanding on my previous post, I want to explore the interaction between identity and self-worth, but in the context of social media.

Social role influences identity.

As stated previously, I am using Erickson’s model of identity as derived from one’s social role. When one has a low sense of self-worth, they may take on roles aimed at gaining a sense of self-worth through external validation. ‘The hero’ role is one possible way to achieve this validation, as I described in the context of the family.

Social injustices can influence self-worth. 

Beyond the family, low self-worth can be the result of an infinite number of traumas, social injustices, and other forms of violence. Some may include stigmas or discrimination based on one’s race, class, gender, level of ability, body image, or any other social bias that works to dehumanize, invalidate, and classify a specific ‘type’ of person.

Specific roles may…

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How Self-worth Affects Identity

An excellent post and worth the read!

Steve Rose PhD

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how our social environment affects our identity. Our social environments shape us from birth, often unconsciously, instilling a sense of security, self-worth, and identity. Those growing up in dysfunctional families may lack a fundamental sense of self-worth, causing them to seek a sense of significance in ways that are unhealthy and unsustainable.

To gain a sense of significance, some take on the hero role, seeking praise for their achievements. Some become jokesters, making others laugh while suppressing their inner turmoil. Some become rebels, seeking approval from deviant peer-groups. Lastly, some may retreat into isolated fantasy worlds. The book, Another Chance by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, elaborates on these roles among families dealing with addiction issues.

Coming from a dysfunctional family plagued by addiction, individuals take on one or more of the above roles, carrying the negative long-term effects into adulthood. These may include underdeveloped coping strategies, low self-esteem, acting…

View original post 647 more words